Happy Father's Day Dad! We will be together today thinking of you and praying that God keep you close always. Love you.
Missing You
I sit alone now in the darkness of despair.
I cry my silent tears,
My heart is broken into a million tiny pieces.
The silence is deafening to my ears.
The darkness frightens me,
The shadows climb the wall.
I hear footsteps walking,
Passing through the hall.
The loneliness surrounds me,
It takes my breath away,
This is the pattern of my life,
Since that awful, dreadful day.
Without a clue
Without a hint
Of what was yet to be,
God called you home
To be with him
And took you away from me.
I walk, I talk. I carry on
When the sun pokes out it's head
But when darkness falls
And evening comes
I cannot go to bed.
For this is when I miss you most of all
When I curl into a little ball
And cry those silent tears.
Watching the shadows,
And missing you.
Eddie, I remember the first time you brought Phyllis and me to Sahara for dinner. Nawal, Ryan, and Jacob were there too. The waiter kept talking to you in Sureth and was visibly making fun of me, not being or speaking Chaldean at all. After a few of these exchanges, you told me to listen as you whispered something to me. On your instruction, when the waiter came back, I barked at him, "Najib, me-thee-lee smoothie". You exploded in laughter and the waiter nearly dropped his tray. But he also promptly brought a smoothie back for me. Eddie, you always made me laugh, and at times when it mattered and, times it didn't, you had my back.
Dad,
We don't want to have Christmas this year without you. All of our Christmas days growing up revolved around you and mom. Mom did all this shopping and wrapping and tried desperately to keep the presents hidden from us kids. You pretended to be santa, I think out of us older kids you did it for me the most. I was really into the idea of leaving cookies and milk. You told me santa would rather have kulehtcha and chai, so mom would help me make up a plate for "santa" and she would rush me (and the rest of us brats) off to bed.
I remember the year, I don't know maybe I was six or seven, that I realized "santa" was you and mom, and specifically that you were the one eating the kulehtcha and chai! Every year you left me a note from "santa", that before I could read mom would read to me. Then the year that I was pretty able to read on my own, I noticed that the handwriting was yours on the note. I don't know how, I must have seen things around the house you or mom wrote and started to distinguish whose writing was whose without really thinking about it. Anyway, I had started to become suspicious of "santa" already, but that year I also found out the writing was yours and I knew that you were santa, and that you had always been santa. I realized then and there, how much you wanted me to be happy and how much you loved me.
Though we won't have Christmas this year, I will always think of you like santa, even when me and my husband are pretending for our kids. I will remember to tell my kids that santa prefers kulehtcha and chai to cookies and milk. I love you.